The Failures of the BAU team!
by Longbourn22
Summary: Jack and Hotch 'baby-sat' Emily's pet.  Something happened.  Then, later, Hotch learned that he was not the only one 'baby-sat' Zhuzhu.  Whole team involvement.


A one shot story! it's about pet sitting and how the team fared.

Thanks to my wonderful beta...HGRHfan35! You are super-duper!

Disclaimer: I don't own CM or its character…the hamster is mine.

Enjoy!

…

**The Failures of the BAU team!**

Sunday late afternoon:

"Daddy?"

"Yeah buddy?" Hotch replied absently as he was finishing a report on the coffee table.

"Um, it's Zoomzoom."

"Zhuzhu, Jack. What about it?"

"He's not moving." Jack said softly.

Hotch snapped his head up to his son. "Not moving? Did you feed him his special food Miss Emily showed you?"

Jack nodded.

Frowning, Hotch stood up and allowed his son to lead him into his bedroom.

There was a large specially built plastic habitat for hamsters sitting on Jack's night stand with a furry black and white critter.

"Are you sure it's not sleeping? You know Zhuzhu likes to play at night and sleep all day." Hotch asked his son.

Jack nodded.

"Why is he not moving, daddy?" Jack asked as he watched his father opened the hatch door and tentatively give the little fella a nudge.

Nothing.

"Um, I don't know, buddy." Then he saw that there was a small bowl of yellow mush.

"What's this, Jack?" He pointed at the mush.

"Mac and Cheese. I wanted to share my lunch wiv him just like Ms. Byrd said."

Hotch was trying his best to suppress the laughter bubbling from inside. His preschool teacher had been showing him how to share after an incident with another preschooler.

"Oh. Jack buddy, hamsters don't eat Mac and Cheese. They have to eat that food that's in that bottle." He pointed to the bottle of hamster pellets.

"But I want to share!" Jack frowned, his expression identical to his father's.

"I understand buddy, you can share with your friends, Aunt Jessica and me but not with the hamster, okay? They don't like Mac and Cheese."

Jack's shoulders slumped, "Sharing is confrusing."

"You mean confusing?" Hotch marveled at his son's use of such a big word, mispronounced aside.

Jack nodded.

"It's okay. It will take time to get it right. So, what do you think we should do with Zhuzhu?"

Jack looked up at his dad, "We take him to heaven where mommy is."

Hotch's heart contracted hard but he nodded, "That's right. He's in heaven now."

Then he knelt down so he was eye level with his son, "How about you and I get dressed and we'll go to a pet store and get another hamster that looks just like Zhuzhu?"

Jack smiled as he nodded enthusiastically. "Okay daddy. Can we have our own Zhuzhu?"

Hotch shook his head, "Not at this moment. You're still a little young. Maybe in another two years? When you are a bigger boy?"

Surprisingly, Jack nodded. "Okay. I'll wait. I don't want our hamster die like him."

Hotch couldn't helped it this time but laughed out loud. "That's right Jack. Okay, let's get changed."

Jack nodded again as he walked over to his dresser drawers, Hotch left him to change as he headed to his bedroom.

…

Monday morning:

Hotch felt silly and self-conscious carrying the green and white plastic cage with his briefcase from his car in the garage, to the elevator, all along the hallway leading to the BAU unit. He tried not to notice the weird looks the male agents gave him, and the 'aw' looks from the female agents. He just kept his face neutral and plowed forward until he sat the cage down on Emily's desk.

"Hotch! Oh…there's Zhuzhu!" He turned to her voice, coming from the break room.

She approached him, holding two steaming cups of coffee which she handed one to him.

It never failed to surprise him at how she knew he had arrived to work. His arrival time varied yet she knew.

"Hotch, thank you and thanks to Jack, for watching him. I wish I didn't have to go see mother over the weekend but duty calls."

"Not a problem." Hotch said. He had been debating on whether to tell her or not.

She tapped at the hamster and grinned, "I see Zhuzhu…"

"Emily," he interrupted her. He ought to.

Emily straightened to face him, "Yeah Hotch?"

"I…um," He couldn't get it out, instead he asked, "How was your weekend?"

Emily frowned, "It was okay. It was always the same old speech about why am I not married and spewing grandkids for her."

Hotch almost choked on his hot coffee when she used the word 'spew'.

Clearing his throat, he quickly blinked his eyes to clear the tears. Luckily she was not watching him but her pet.

_Damn it! Be honest with her!_ He told himself.

"Hey! I see Zhuzhu VI is here!" Hotch and Emily turned to see Morgan walking into the unit.

Emily grinned.

Hotch felt guilty…wait, Zhuzhu VI? He had to ask.

"Um, Zhuzhu VI?"

Emily shook her head, "Well, this one here is not the original hamster. You see, he had been babysat…or was it hamster-sat? Anyways, he was passed on from Garcia, Reid, Morgan, JJ and even Dave. Each time, he died and he was replaced surreptitiously by all. When Dave had him, Zhuzhu V lasted a day and a half before he bit the dust; Dave admitted that he had forgotten to feed and gave it water. So here's Zhuzhu VI."

Hotch blushed lightly as Morgan was chuckling.

Emily glared at Morgan, "Don't laugh, Derek; you killed Zhuzhu III by setting him by the window, in the hot sun's direction! The plastic cage took in all the heat and it became a sauna for Zhuzhu!"

Morgan held his hand up, "Hey, I did replace him and apologized to you. JJ let Henry play with number four and killed him by squishing it a little too hard."

"Yeah, JJ felt really bad about it. She thought she was about to get a call from PETA!"

Morgan nodded, "Yeah. But my cupcake Penelope wasn't too kind to the first one either."

He and Emily shuddered as they recalled Garcia sobbingly told Emily that she tried to bathe the hamster and then had the blow-dryer setting too high and fried his fur, Zhuzhu I died of shock.

"Reid was no better." Emily tried to shake the image of fur-fried hamster off her head. "He accidentally dropped the cage down that long flight of stairs leading to his apartment. The hatch came undone as the cage tumbled over and over and Zhuzhu II came flying out and before it could move a paw, the cage landed on it and then Reid falling on top of the cage.

RIP Zhuzhu II

Hello Zhuzhu III

This time Morgan and even Emily couldn't help but began laughing hard.

Hotch stared at her, "But that's your pet!"

Emily nodded, "I know but still it was really funny imagining Reid falling down the stairs, and that's not the first time he's had done that, mind you. Just the images of him on top of the cage with Zhuzhu squished further." She and Derek started to laugh again.

Hotch shook his head, should he tell her?

"Poor Zhuzhus, they sure don't last long, don't they?" Emily remarked as she returned her gaze to the cage and then she frowned as she leaned closer to it.

"Hotch?" She turned to look at him. "This is not Zhuzhu VI…is it?"

Morgan began to laugh, "I think you're destined to not have a pet, Princess!"

Hotch's face turned red. "No. I guess you could say that this is Zhuzhu VII?"

"What happened to VI?" Emily asked.

Hotch replied, "Jack wanted to share his Mac and Cheese with him and I think it was lactose intolerant. Severely."

Morgan and Emily began to laugh hard, tears streaming out of her eyes.

"Oh crap Hotch! Lactose intolerant! Oh my god! That's too funny!" Morgan was bent over, still laughing.

"Emily, I'm so sorry. We…I didn't mean for it to die." Hotch tried to apologize.

Emily shook her head, "That's okay, Hotch. I think after this one dies, I'm not keeping anymore hamsters. I might try something bigger…maybe a cat?"

Morgan suddenly stopped laughing as he stare at her, "Don't expect me to cat-sit it! I'm allergic to them!"

Emily grinned, "What a shame."

Cheekily, she turned to Hotch, "I'll make sure this future cat likes dairy."

Hotch looked at her in horror, "I…I…don't think so. I don't know what Jack…I'm not going to think about it! I…oh! Look at the time; I've got a staff meeting in five minutes. See you guys later." Hotch beat a hasty retreat up to his office and closed the door.

Emily looked up at the closed office door, "You know, Derek, I think he was actually, really, terrified about that!"

"You are right, Emily. He did look scared about it."

"Not that I'll do it. We're gone too much for me to keep a cat anyways."

"And a hamster is not?" Morgan asked.

Emily shrugged her shoulders, "I thought they were hardy pets."

"Don't you think you're five, six…no, seven hamsters too late to realize this?"

Emily grinned.

"Oh! I…you're not looking for another baby sitter, are you Emily?" Reid asked as he placed his things on his desk, eyeing the green and white container. "I don't think this unit is really qualified to do so. I think you need to hire an expert or something. They have dog-walkers, why not Hamster-helpers?"

Morgan nodded his, "I agree with Pretty Boy…Hamster-helpers, that's a good one. We just don't have that capability."

Reid shuddered as he continued glaring at the cage, remembering what he had done to the poor critter.

Garcia walked in and stopped in horror as she saw the cage. "Oh! My! God! That, that… thing is back! It refused to die! No, this is some sick joke, isn't it, Emily? Well, you can count me out of this whole mess!" She quickly turned around and left the unit.

Emily chuckled, "Never thought a small furry creature could evoke such fear in these FBI agents…he's just a harmless hamster!"

…The End…

There! Please let me know!

Lizzie


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